Chatterbox, blabbermouth, busybody, confabulator, clack, gossip, magpie, windbag, circulator, flibbertigibbet, gossipmonger, informer, newsmonger, parrot, discourser, prattler, babbler, scandalizer, talebearer, conversationalist . . .

Although all of these words are accurate, I like to think of myself as more of a sharer of wild tales, a storyteller illustrating the events passed and present, of hillarious stories and incessent ramblings. When in all seriousness I am just someone who doesnt know when to stop talking, a constant noise in the background, the chatter of meaningless random words playing in the corner . . . the person you try and block out when you're head is pounding and you just want SILENCE!

However for a select few out there I am entertaining to some degree, so if you're up for a bit of a giggle, the latest slice of juicy gossip or some mind numbing drivel, grab you're cuppa, put you're feet up, and join in on the gab, you're more than welcome!

- Ash

Friday, 10 February 2012

Writers Block has set in . . . . . Gawd Help me!

  Turned on the radio this morning . . .

"For all you bloggers out there attempting a posting today, there has been a gnarly 4 word pile up on the M4 between Ashley's Brain and The Fingertips exit, commuters are suffering HUGE delays as words are in a standstill waiting for the damage to be cleared, authorities are working on a speedy solution, however cannot see an end to this chaos in the immediate future"

Great, thats all i need - WRITERS BLOCK

Its not like nothing exciting has happened in the past few days, we even had snow for the first time since arriving in the UK and it was AMAZING - I tried to blog about it the other day and ended up sitting here typing a few words, reading them 10 times, deleting them, writing another few words, not happy, deleting them  . . . it was a vicious circle, which resulted in me giving the blog a completely new look and then cooking halz and I a delicious dinner (You cant get a cooking block, which I find great comfort in, when there are no words, at least there will still be scrumptious food to create).

So I was wondering if there were any crazy home remedies for writers block?

Being Gen Y I did what comes naturally to me . . . . . I googled it

Found a website - 36 Ways to Cure Writers Block, and these were the first few that I read . .

  • Take some Panadol - you may just have a headache (Seriously People?)
  • Eat a Snack - Your brain is probably hungry (My brain doesnt have a stomach)
  • Go Back to the Basics - Use a Pen & Paper (Then it wouldnt be a BLOG)
  • Reduce, Reuse, Recycle - Borrow from other pieces (Mate, thats called Plagiarism)
  • Lower your Expectations (Where do they get this crap from honestly?)
  • Draw a Picture (Im not in Kindergarten, you wont see me whooping out the finger paints)
  • Seek out your Local Shrink (I have writers block, not suicidal tendencies)
  • Find God - It may be time to pray for help (Are these people smoking crack?)
  • Choose Not to Write - Sometimes its best to accept defeat (I sure hope this website hasn't been written by a school teacher or child therapist, because this is not the way to handle things)
  • Throw a Tantrum - If all else fails, blow of some steam (I think someone should write in to this ridiculous website and blow off some steam, this is the worst advice I have ever read)

What else do they want me to do, Hit up God for directions so I can go on an expedition in search of the last surviving unicorn and make a smoothie out of its saliva as a 'wonder cure', then stand on my head for 10 days so that the juices in my brain mix with the smoothie and I turn into the worlds best blogger and win a Nobel Peace Prize for excellence?? These people have lost their Na Na

There was ONE suggestion that was hiding at the very bottom of this INSANE website that I did take notice of  - they said to Write about Not being able to Write . . . . . and you know what, I have been typing away like a mad man for the past 15 mins about not being able to write anything . . .

I M . W R I T I N G ! !

Holy Jebus, father of the unicorns and master of Plagiarism - Its a miracle

Catch ya all later, Im off to write a review on the "36 Ways to Cure Writers Block" website - the poor sods